Are you sure it's not too tight?
by Ice wind1
Summary: Paine goes to a Hallween party...but her costume is causing her problems. Rated T to be safe. Oneshot. Please Read and Review!


(A short fic of Paine getting a costume thats too tight for her...i dont know it just sort of popped into my head when i was looking at the Black Mage dressphere. Anyway i hope you find this funny...or even slightly funny i been low on ideas as of late...like the whole of summer! But i guess i would stop talking so you can read. so please enjoy! )

Are you sure it's not too tight?

A crack of thunder and witches cackle. The dark night sky which that witches fly. Tonight was the night. The night of nightmares… and hollow screams. Tonight… was hollows eve.

Alone in the cabin sat a girl. Hair of grey eyes of crimson gold. She munched away with silent glee as screeds of flesh were ripped from yee. But alone came a spider…who sneaked up behind her. And

"BOO!!"

Paine almost hit the roof at the sudden scream but fell from the couch instead. Behind the couch where two familiar figures…both laughing their hearts out. Paine stood clearing her throat and dusting the popcorn off her clothes as she stood. Rikku and Yuna failed to notice Paine stride from the room. Rikku still had her bed sheet in hand; Yuna had dropped hers from laughing so hard.

In a nearby bathroom Paine was plotting her revenge. She chuckled to herself as she pulled one of Shira's long lost gadgets from behind the bathtub.

"Ha ha very funny!" Paine said as mono toned as she could muster.

"We…We got you so good!!" Rikku held her stomach and rolled around in wild laughter. "Didn't we Yunie?!" Rikku flicked a tear from her eye and looked to her cousin. Who looked like she was about to pass out from lack of air.

"Well…" Paine started her grip tightening on the device "I guess I've got no way to get back and you two then…… except for, THIS!!" She pointed and clicked

Looks of confusion passed over the three. Rikku and Yuna looked at each other, then they looked at Paine. Paine looked at the device, the small remote did nothing? Well that was a let down…

"Damn it…" Paine muttered as she gave the invention a sharp whack with the palm of her hand.

It was only when Yuna and Rikku saw Paine's face go red then looked down at their cloths did they realise… They had no clothes. Both were gone in an instant leaving Paine laughing in glory.

Sometime later that involved Shinra getting hit over the head with a toaster by Rikku…

"That good enough Yunie?" Rikku stepped back to admire her work.

Yuna looked in the mirror. Just across her nose was a little strip of brown face cream liked she had wanted. "It's great Rikku! Thank you!" Yuna's soft voice was full of joy.

Yuna gave Rikku a hug, but to say a 'hug' would be wrong… it was more of a very clumsy hug for the two. Rikku couldn't lean to far back or her tight pants would split and Yuna had to be careful not to poke Rikku's eyes out. Never had getting ready for a Halloween party been so tiring. Rikku was dressed as an Alchemist and Yuna as a Berserker. Both girls had taken months to make their costumes. True it would have just been easier to put the dressphere on instead of making a costume… but hey they wanted to make their own.

"Hey Rikku?" Yuna asked in quiet a small voice

"Yeah Yunie?" Rikku had just given up her attempt to lift her oversized assault rifle… she'd trick Brother into carrying that.

"My tail…" Yuna trailed off going a little red in the face. "It's… not to over to one side is it?" She turned letting Rikku look going even redder in the face from sheer embarrassment.

Rikku happily went to work fixing Yuna's tail. The fact that she was looking right at and mucking around with Yuna backside went totally over her head.

"Rikku!! Where are teeth?!" The worst person in the world had to walk in at the wrong moment. "Ri… ku?" Brother stammered to a halt at the sight before him.

Yuna. Cat Yuna. Cat Yuna with tail. Brothers little mind started to hit critical mass. How his mind started to wander as he imagined himself petting Yuna and her purring and meowing. And the tail was right above her… his nose started to bleed and his eyes grow wider and stopped on the thing in question.

"Sicko!!" Rikku's rifle hit it's mark, Brother forehead. "You can carry that for me to you sick perv!!" She shouted at Brother's unconscious form. "And Paine would you come out the toilet already! I gotta pee!"

The door slide open and Paine stepped out looking uncomfortable… very uncomfortable.

"Paine wear this!" chirped Rikku as she threw a bunch of clothes at Paine

"_Why?" The pale warrior asked thumbing the clothes_

"_Cause it will be fun!"_

Why? Oh why? Hadn't she say no? She cursed herself as she stood there with her friends looking at her. Thankfully her Black Mage hat fell down over her eyes… this was so uncomfortable. True Paine didn't mind the Black Mage dressphere, actually she would gladly wear it to a costume party! It just… this one… seemed a bit tight.

"Who… exactly made this… Rikku?" Paine asked through gasp for air.

"Nooj did… Why?" Rikku asked confused not noticing Paine's plain lack of not being able to breathe.

_Nooj…it all makes sense now. _Paine shivered at the fact the man had opened a costume shop for girl, if all his work was like this she felt sorry for whoever bought them.

_Lets skip to the crew going to the party, shall we?_

The range of costumes was something else. Buddy had gone as a computer for some reason. Shinra was a Flan…but ask him and he'd say he was a super intelligent single-celled organism…whatever. Brother was dressed as a prince…well not really he was just wearing a plastic crown and a red cape along with his normal clothes. Well anyway besides from Gippal running around trying to wedge people, it was a pretty basic party. Dooking, Prizes for the best costume, Singing and Dancing, trying to catch a donut in your mouth blindfolded (Rikku had cheated when no one was looking! Bad Rikku! Bad!) And numerous attempts by Brother trying to flirt with Yuna. But all this fun…and Paine was just standing by the food bar.

_In the name of Yevon Rikku…what damn size did you put me down for…a 6? _Her hat fell down into her eyes…for the 100 time that night.

"Paine?" Came a calm voice, a familiar one to. Baralai's face greeted her when she fixed her hat. "Is that really you?!" His face light up and he looked her up and down.

"Yes…" Was Paine's pained response, she could swear the damn thing was getting smaller. "Oh and Baralai" She added coolly getting his attention "Eyes up here" He blushed and walked away. Well as best as he could dressed as Seymour Guado, plus his wig fell off and Leblanc tripped on it.

Paine was starting to hope that there would be some sort of accident so she could get out her damn costume. Man was the thing starting to get tight! She could just picture it now. Brother dancing on the floor then BANG! The light would come down on him, of course poor Brother would die for the greater good but anyway! Or hopefully Nooj would trip on punch and snap his neck…either way everyone would have to go home.

"_**Move along folks nothing to see here!" Come the yellow tape and people moaning about the party being stopped. **_(And Paine skipping back to the Celsius in the background…yes folks…I said skipping)

She broke from her pleasant daydream of getting back to the Celsius and knifing her costume off…and that sweet, sweet air. Paine took a sip of her drink and shuddered and the stretching sounds that came from her. Something wet hit her in the face…that wasn't good.

"Ah crap! Sorry Doctor P!" Gippal had tripped over his own two feet and dropped a whole bowl of punch over Paine. He still didn't understand why she hadn't hit him in the face yet.

Paine stood there in horror…she'd got it wet. She felt her waist start to pull in and her chest start to tighten. The damn thing was shrinking!! Paine clawed at her clothes, her hat fell into her eyes and she threw it across the room hit Wakka in the forehead. Gippal's eye grow wider…Paine tore at her clothes…Gippal had a nosebleed…Paine pulled away, Gippal fainted.

_Air! Sweet air! _Paine took in a lung full. She'd freed herself from that crisis, she won. Paine blinked as something hit her…why was everyone?…_Uh oh…_She'd forgotten that she had nothing on underneath. Paine grabbed the nearest tray and inched away…she was more than a little red…and it wasn't from the chafing.

(I know that wasn't funny at all!! I'm so ashamed!! T.T At lest i hope it was funny...or that you at lest enjoyed yourself. Feel free to leave a review if you want...or you can be a big meanie and not review! Just kidding! Please review i Love reviews they make me happy Thanks for reading)


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